I was made for Afternoons

in are hope coffee at dawn soft breezes to wake you children's books long afternoons which of course i was made for bills paid meditation mediation medication co operation all sorts of ations except for alienation which is out i mean' who wants aliens anyway! soft beds are a must cups of tea at 3 on line poetic thoughts and music of all persuasion out are most things i hate which is fine 'cos this is my blog anyway stress is out big time so are bombastic rockers strung out on their own importance hate of all descriptions designs dimensions and detail in fact most details are out too the unnecessary is out as are the unscrupulous and unsavoury but the unusual unusable or undone can stay the other is just there so listen

can you preen? can you strut around like a stuffed turkey hi5 all the young n glamerous trying to paw you can you pose with a gitar and mutter some two syllable response to a question asked by a second rate early school leaver? welcome to the ozzie moosic awards and you could win awards for best afro best satin pants least likely to want to grow up award and my favourite best new artist who pretends to be something their not just to succeed i mean really! this is moosic? a balm for the soul? more like posion which creeps up your veins keeping you happy until it takes you over and you can't tell good from bad what happened to most creative album biggest risk taken moosically most improved? best lyrical content album sales as a measure of worth? i think not hitler was popular so were the bay city rollers but no one wants either of them back! the electric smashing led zep ripping power stut stuf is outta date outta mind outta favour outta here and still selling records. maybe i'm

This is the lappy speaking Ck’s accomplice CK is just too tired today So he’s left it to me blogging is confusing for a machine I can’t quite seem to make it work I want to use CAPITALS all the time And write things like http or error 404 blog not found but i think I would be recycled if that was my game so where to start? what sort of blog do I want to be? Some blogs are funny Why can’t I be a funny blog? Some blogs are deep CK tries this. maybe I could try something else he just sounds confused to me… funny AND deep things like autosymbolicmysticism or techocreatedmindmuddlingtextcode hmm. Like that. Another one Imagelesslocationremotetranspersonalcommunicationalremote I think I’m finding my voice! Now did you hear about the main frame who… CK: Do you mind? ACER TravelMate 290: Er no. CK: Right. Lets get on with it. sound of fingers tapping sighing music being selected tea bring made brief conversations with any near by family member magazines being flipped through television going o

breakfast on the street mayhem and macciahato the littlies checking it all out taking in the riders smokers readers drinkers sipping their babycinos making polite conversation with anyone who will listen whilst their fathers bleary eyed and silent strong coffee in hands, wondering why they gave up smoking, order the least offensive thing for their middle aged systems when all they want is fried baked battered settle for eggs (they're s'pose to be good for ya right?) and a chance to watch life pass us by more slowly on these mornings than the driven desperate weekday workday rigmarole as the human traffic increases its time to go before our recovery is thwarted undone i drive through the morning sunshine littlies chatting music blearing beginning.

yesterday the littlies and i went to the swimming near the city the afternoon sun baking us as we drove running late of course slipping and sliding through traffic lights and back streets for the start of lessons EK my young poet met the most beautiful woman who was to assess her I mean what can you assess in a seven year old who hates swimming? EK is a nervous swimmer and this lovely elegant african willowly goddess gathered her up and she was dipping and diving in no time emerging from the shallow water with a smile on her face shaking with surprise at the cold or herself i don't know anyhow we start the lessons next week to be the great bronzed young free strong australians we were destined to be? Nah. It's an indoors pool man! And old CK here may even get in a few laps or a sit in the sauna or maybe even just read the gita or the gospels with a coffee or green tea and watch the rest of humanity pass him by or straining with some sort of effort yelling at their kids to come

warm nights stars out breezeless and breathless i slink through fitful slumber your name near my lips never quite clear images of you come and go shadow colour ice mist wild imaginings fires and darknesses and yet i am never fully aware can never grasp your entirety like a forgotten lover hologram song painting poem sacrament you are with me through these dreams these moments outside of time I travel to your secret land where what is hidden is real the laws of my universe my creation crumble fall apart my happiness is real and i spend my days in silence trying to return

here early today freends last night me and my musical brother he of the whiskey the godfather of my young prince man of fender and epiphone phil, in mortal speak spent our few regular hours together playing listening discussing drinking laughing rolling evaluating we have listened to some sweet tunes in our time weller cockburn kilbey the dan the council the crowdies the church ricki donald walter neil and tim nick drake all becoming part of the fabric the shared knowledge the backing track of our day to day struggles and joys and traveling new vistas are opening up for us the vast and the mystical sounds for living and breathing i have discovered oophoi pete namlook n tetsu inoue david sylvian dead can dance catherines wheel go on get on ya itunes or whatever and look em up give yourself a new sound to change your day be a musical magpie allow the mystical magical powerful force of music to get to ya dig around the back of records shop bargain basements bins ask what the cd is at the

we were in the kitchen glasses of wine in hand olives in a bowl when it started. the conversation you don't want to have the words that you hope aren't a spell a future you aren't creating just by speaking of it ... what music would you want played when your gone? in our house the littlies are always present always listening switched on nothing escapes the minds of the postulants so they had first say as if we could stop them the young prince wanted god speaks, we listen hmmmm - maybe he's going to be a wizard after all the new poet she wanted every song from annie its a hard nock life was, i thought, a winner not to mention maybe or tomorrow i said i wanted metropolis by the cheerch because no one would get it which was appropriate so we put it on and the first line was they'll never b another quite like u so it may have been ck's ego getting its two cents worth in! missus thought of i'm almost with you but ck would have to sing it so thats no good the othe

my littlest littlie the heir and son the prince apprentice and neophyte beginner and novice future lead guitarist brain surgeon abbot poet lover painter candlestickmaker never a lawyer or banker or engineer or dentist or ... economist! he loves the early hours it is not long in the mornings that i get time alone before he appears dog in hand dragged by the ear like some faithful companion and lies across me while i am still and silent and then from nowhere the questions begin the who what when where why all things he knows familiar ground for both of us seeking reassurance grounding i know this man (i am sure this is what he is thinking or perhaps knowing, i mean who actually thinks at 5 in the morning?) i know this man thinks the young royal by the way he answers these things the smell of fresh coffee that hangs around him his jiggling leg his two word responses and i know i can get to him just by stroking his cheek at the right time or giggling at some imaginary joke of my own or ste

the man child wakes naturally with the birds orientates himself in the grey of pre dawn shuffles around the house like a lost lamb not quite yet coherent or cognitive routine becomes invaluable to maintain stability first here then there a breathe or two and a stretch a small drink hard to swallow on the dry throat fresh from sleep then settle again light a candle gaze long and deep keep breathing fight the magic slumber which threatens and obscures you another day has begun try and connect with god all around you in you somehow try and feel the presence don't let the day overtake you before its even begun and the hours pass into history duties family and friends activity obligation flights of fantasy creativity in waves or receding like the tide fruitless and fruitful glimpses of truth of hope moments of despair and longing until the day ends and the sun returns to haunt other worlds and then a moment of rest a chance to see with new eyes perhaps the eyes of the drunk or the glutt

hello blooging friends sorry for the missed day a runaround day at the desk well outside with the keeds and too tired to write you a little lesson when i was home. it is warm here an oppressive heat which drains you stops you sleeping tires your walking and waking after a berry breakfast and the caffine drug this morning i went with a freend to the beading house many woman walking around peering in little jars and containers like witches looking for an eye of newt or scorpion eggs dried cockroach whispering to each other pointing and discussing fiddling and fussing consulting books of spells or runes all their creative juices running matriarchs and novices wizened and the fresh of face pondering pulling out and putting back it was a very hushed place quiet Intense almost me and the littlest boy the wizard and the apprentice sat on the couch provided for us and watched with some amazement and of course, some amusement but it was another world these colours n stones n metals wires and pl

the sun is going to bed a bit later in my little corner of the galaxy last night we gathered and cooked and ate and drank outside with swings and beers and the moon just rising a pale little moon sitting quietly in its sky peeking out at us beckoning at us CK was happy being with his gang and all there being a super salad kids running about and a nice warmth in the air which makes you happy hopeful this morning up just before the sun sent our luna friend out of sight out of mind as I meditated breathing in and out calm down brain we're only just up my littlest came and curled on my knee and sat quiet slowing my breathing and we greeted the new day together until lizzy loo surfaced and sat with us too beautiful so i guess there's lot to be thankful for here there everywhere

crisp morning air bright spring sun i start my car early and make my way through the quiet streets although the morning rush is beginning to throb the commuters loooters winners and losers writers and bikers sinners lovers fakers are all beginning their days in their own little world and with no sounds in the red machine my mind is free to wander and take in the the majesty of creation in all its sensuous glory the green of the grass the clunk and grind of the engine beneath me happy people sad people resigned faces worked resoultly to their station the office has become the new trench our duty for queen and country for mortgage and credit and car loan for someones future but not my own boys on bikes girls in skirts ipods and iboxes and music machines everywhere clogging ears with a secret soundscape changing for how we feel changing what we see oh the beauty of music to inspire move trouble and confuse us enlighten restore but my car is silent and i arrive ready for anything anyone an

why do we settle for second best artistically when the way you look determines how many records you sell the cover of your book the story of your life is more important than the story itself some silly la la la chorus supposed to mean more than words which touch the heart things are backwards don't ya think me freends? last night the golden boy on the musical merry go round was out he couldn't have looked happier actually perhaps he was just relieved it was over and he could back to writing n singing n making and hanging out with his mrs living the life today on the radio he said he was glad to be out of it too much showbiz too much oh la la too much wham bam thankyou ma'am the star making machine was not him a musician he is not a performing monkey nice to see an afro with integrity and a bit of depth so even though he was out of this daggy tv show i felt a bit enthused a bit uplifted what poise that young man showed there is another way of doing things i'm not alone i

Morning my dear fiends and friends lovers and fighters new and old back at the coal face the salt mine the pit the classroom time to apply the lessons of the last few weeks keep the flame the faith the truth. find the centre the depths the mystery the cave of the heart the afternoon yesterday was beautiful long afternoon sun shining through our windows wine on the table some deep conversations laughter the littlies their usual ever changing and flitty little selves and tonight friends will gather in our house around the cooking pot and the wine bottle and we will share our days and ways thoughts plans pain petunias and the day may seem a little less bad a little less away from the ideal so we have the chance the energy the hope to face tomorrow but until then chained to the desk then a long walk and home peace on this day to you is it shining where you are?

another beautiful day in the west littlest littlie and i went to the church where mrs k does the sounds he played and i was well to be honest a bit bored that is not an easy admission to make! there was a visiting preacher who didn’t fit my apophatic disposition a bit too sure very enthusiastic about things waving his arms about like tai chi on acid although that thought wouldn’t have occurred to him no sense of beyond no mystery of god no chance of an encounter of the divine with the created a lot of words thoughts ideas manipulation exposition exegesis and all the while my mind wandering because usually when it is like this and i experience this moment i quietly slip away and read a lovely little text by the calcutta saint saviour of the poor and leprous mother teresa but the book had gone! and i looked up and down in and out round and round without luck or success and so the usual words of comfort when faced with the concrete block approach to theological belief words of contemplati

It was just another day dearest friends Another day by any standards Time with the fam a lee Time with the comm uni ty Coffee and talk And some shopping The great western consumerist pastime humanity in all its multicoloured glory Was out in force buying buying buying replacing renewing researching enhancing every cranny turning their homes into great copies of someone elses mastepiece But only a few purchases today for the k’s The essentials The organic and the wholesome And some bedding In orange Very attractive a few nice sounds on the machine And the usual mistakes mishaps missed chances and Misplacements Another day Mine and yours I got some silence in the morning As the sun was coming up deep breathing chanting quietly to myself why doesn’t that peace last the whole day why are some days better than others why is a CD perfect one time then grating the next we are complex critters we creatures of god and today I experienced it all Living Loving Breathing Experiencing See you anon

A blank screen An empty thought The possibilities are endless and Wonderful Like you Like me What fills you with hope? What fills you with joy? My passions My love You know well from this bloog And if you read this Something here is helpful to ya This week I will return to my place of employment I will rise early Spend my day away from loved ones My home Return Tired stressed worn beside my self Recuperate slightly Sleep a dreamless sleep of the dead And then begin this karmic cycle The next day There must be a better way Mammon is indeed a hard and difficult master Becoming ourselves not anyones priority Giving my littlies the best of myself Beyond our control Seeking peace Love Hope Fulfilment Joy Way down the list I worry. A lot. And in this oasis’ of peace from my daily grind I become mystic again Creative Loving And now More than ever I fear losing this once more As I return To work Something has to give We can’t do it Have it Be it all But I can have the things that matter You se

sounds around me ripples movement beginning eliza and noah already up watching that box in the corner come and sit with me kids! bring in the day in silence yes noah you can put out the candle when we're finished slowly moving didn't sleep to flash lots of processing going on need time more time last night we all gathered together one big eating drinking laughing happy family the carnage is still present a glass here a plate there no music this morning just coffee and a sit I can still feel them all here gathered together celebrating just being been us even the littlies get it now They're coming! and they bounce around the house have there own little gathering a favorite video fall asleep where they are or stumble into their beds smiling we all smile too and its not just the red we warm each others hearts i want to feel this good all the time being myself sharing without pushing loving without fear i remember us starting quietly 10 years ago not wanting to hurt offend compl

i am the wanderer the wonderer a star fish in the sky wanting to shine words on a page notes on a score waiting for life breeze which doesn’t cool incomplete searching for something else and in me burning with steam and heat desires longings half enjoying half fearing the darkness. light forcing creativity making me stronger incrementally silently healing guiding. this letting go of fearing less embracing more stopping asking how much longer? being happy being answerless being free to change my mind my views my tastes swimming more walking more eating less eating better back into my body less car less worry should I become a vegetarian should I learn to dance? I can’t let go that much you know! Taking time Slow Slow down young man! Listening To the silence To music To others Believing the best Can I do this? Can I embrace the life bestowed on me For years Trying to get it right Whatever that is Doctrines dogma Devious things those d words Can lead you up the garden path out the back up

Mornin’ to ya Hows the sunlight in Your little world this morning? Do you have a sound track To ease you in? Quincy jones He of michael jackson fame (don’t hold that against him!) Brilliant arranger Master musical craftsman Hears a kind of blue each and every morning Miles. Coltrane. Slowly shifting modal harmonies Like light through dusty old windows That’s the way to start the day. Hmmmmm. Too early for those simple little rhymes! Listened to the church this morning again kilbey helps me to think in these hours but only the acoustic stuff no distortion before midday All of us up early today I couldn’t sit still for prayers So much to do So much to be and write and sing and play All that busyness! What would old saint ben say! I wrote my three morning pages though Being doing this for a while Helps clear the mind and the soul stuff comes up things I didn’t even know were hidden and some of it my friends is gold not in riches of the world i’m not turning my head into a BHP mine site!

Sitting at my kitchen bench Sunshine pouring in on a beeatifull spring day Home again There’s nothing like it Safety Of friends and family Familiar things and smell and people and routine Like a cloister Our familee cloister But I’m no abbott! Still a novice is CK Still learning the human trade About love and life and truth and what’s next But Good to be back here. After the south western whale watching book reading coffee sipping family enduring adventure Is there a lesson in this mystery in this journey within the journey Can you tell me? Here ‘tis Love. Sounds simple don’t it! Heard it before have ya? All we need is love! Those boys were only the tip of the icicle anyhow That was 40 years ago and still the love don’t run free Listen close and I’ll tell ya why Take a deep breath You ready? ITS HARD. That’s it. Tough. Work. An effort. I don’t like it. Nope. Not one bit. But that’s it. That’s my path. Maybe yours too. I chose it. Thought I knew it too. But … nope. Not today. All those

2day is sunday doing the blogging thing from a cafe in aug dust er the sun shining in the window the 7 year old watching some stuff on a screen and the mrs looking for video relics on the shelves weird to be bloogering on this day of rest tried the church thing today but like any good foreign visitor i looked a bit it didn't touch me and i'm only 4 hours from home! my little male kept asking the questions about crosses and death and why and about heart and love and we sat out side of the ritual he couldn't sit still and i just needed the peace it was a good little chat we two a little lighter a little closer and then it ended small talk of the faithful began but the space felt empty untouched all these people at prayer but i didn't feel it may be thats me may be its just today but the sun is lovely calms my heart i hate been away from home from my friends and my books my every day painful wonderful challenging stimulating little life i had to breathe deep this week cont

long drives from coast to coast wear me out and the little uns in the backseat begging to use the ipody or stop for a drink begin to test you as a parent as a human three days with the familee in a little cabin all the kids crazy and laughing and free test ya too but watching your folks your very own get older and weary and struggle with their stuff each other how we change as we age is terrifying to watch is to know powerlessness what to do and where to go unanswerable fear worry pain death are universal and those who once seemed to be untouchable now possess them all but inside.. has the journey left them free or weighed down open or shutters drawn responsive or tied ? that is the real journey I seek to know and now almost too late she and I have these words together speak as fellow travelers try and unravel the mystery. that is cause for thankfulness for celebration and hope i love you all

grey seas dark nights and rain and more rain today I visited the ghosts of whales their life blood spilled out on wooden boards which stunk of their misfortune and humans need to conquer to kill for power and blood we watched the past like good entertained little boy's and girls the movies make all too unreal but the children saw it for what it was cruel they said I would never kill my boy declared and he was defiant on his berfday these last 5 years have flown he is tall and strong he can hear now and breathe and he has the true stuff He's honest and kind and loving and stands up for what's right so happy birthday young boy grow larger and bigger brighter and deeper love yourself see God see others always see the world the way you saw those whales today in reality and speak the truth I love you man you are one of gods little wonders and I am glad to share this journey with you

My little fella Had a mate for a sleep over last night When we went for the Customary Good night check We couldn’t find his mate The doona was ruffled And the boy was gone And our eyes scanned His room for signs Of life And there Snuggled together Like rabbits in a warren the two little boys Cuddled together Fast asleep. What happens to us That this becomes Not ok Since when did friends have to reduce Intimacy To mental ascent And agreement shared activities and not show how much we need or care by our bodies our physical selves we save this for partners or kids what’s wrong with us too afraid of ourselves too afraid of passion too afraid of pain of rejection jealousy I don’t find this easy either No way man This is tough stuff Its uncomfortable And more so for us of the male But so is wholeness And so is getting there So happy Sunday May this day find you Awake alive ready for anything.